The Growth of Friendships

Friendships are interesting because often its hard to say how or why they formed, but there they are. On this program, I can tell you how friendships formed, but the why is a tad trickier to pin down. This trip is obviously what brought us together, but somehow I chose the group of people I did on this trip. The progression of these friendships was interesting. Some blossomed right away, some took longer, some existed before this trip, and some were brand new to me. The first weekend in Wellington permanent friendships had yet to form, so it was an opportunity to get to know people.

My first road trip of New Zealand was to the Putangirua Pinnacles. I drove a van of 8 people while a car full of 5 more followed behind. It was in this moment that I had a prime opportunity to make connections with people and I found it surprisingly easy. Towards the beginning of the trip, we stopped on the side of the road to look at some of the beautiful scenery of New Zealand and took a group picture while we were there. In that picture, most of us don’t know anything about each other, but by the end of the trip only a day later I felt friendship with every person in that picture. Five of the people in that picture went on to become some of my best friends on this trip and even three months later I spend every day with them.

Looking back at this photo, I almost can’t believe that there was a time in our lives where we didn’t know each and didn’t spend every day together. Especially as this trip comes to a close, I am finding it hard to believe that I won’t see these people that I have become so close to every day. When we return it will be summer and all of our trip members will scatter across the US for classes, internships, and home. Being abroad and amongst my friends day in and day out has become such a norm for me that I can’t imagine spending the upcoming months without them.

A couple weeks after that first photo, I went on another group road trip to Rotorua and Waitomo. This time I drove the entire group in an 8-person van 6 hours north. For such a long road trip, we had

Brian as our DJ and started up group karaoke. There were several singers amongst us and we spent the entire 6 hour ride harmonizing and laughing away. Even before arriving in Rotorua, I could feel that the bonds between us had deepened just from that car ride.

We then spent the next couple days sightseeing, visiting a winery, and then headed over to Waitomo. Waitomo has stunning glowworm caves and we had booked a innertube caving experience. Descending into the dark of the cave with these 7 other people, I found myself relying on them to lead the pack, tell me where the water suddenly deepened, or encourage me to jump off the waterfall. I think we left that cave with a better idea of who each other was and with a greater level of comfortableness amongst one another. I’m still close with everyone who I went on that trip with in part, I believe, because of the experiences we had together. I can see now why team building exercises are considered so effective in the workplace because making memories and having experiences together are, in my opinion, a surefire way to build comradery.

Friendships often can also blossom in the face adversity. I wish I could say I survived this trip without facing adversity, but I don’t think a single member of our 70-person group would be able to say that. One weekend I found myself facing adversity that I was woefully unprepared for, but found myself rescued by my friends. As part of my Queenstown weekend, I traveled with three guys, Thomas, Nick, and Gibbs, to the Rob Roy Glacier hike about 2 ½ hours north of Queenstown.

This hike was truly in the middle of nowhere. Our rental car had to travel 20 km on washboard gravel road that occasionally disappeared into river. The car and our designated driver, Nick, made it through 10 fords each way which I was incredibly impressed by. We thought that getting to and from this hike on the gravel road would be the hard part, but life threw us a curveball. About 30 minutes after leaving the washboard road behind, our car ran over a nail in the highway that put a 1 cm wide puncture wound in our back left tire. I have never in my life changed a tire or really learned how to, but it turns out that Nick, Gibbs, AND Thomas all knew how to change a tire.

What would’ve been a huge hurdle for me was a 20-minute piece of cake for them. Now that story serves as a connection that the four of us all share. I went into that trip with them more as acquaintances that I simply hadn’t spent much time with. I found that this weekend really taught me how challenges can bring people together in interesting ways. I never would’ve expected to find friends because of a remote hike and a flat tire and yet this trip has given me exactly that.

I find myself incredibly appreciative for the situations that this trip has imposed on me to result in the

growth of such strong and meaningful friendships. I fully reached this realization on our last weekend in New Zealand when we went kayaking in Abel Tasman National Park. We had 6 double kayaks that were filled with people I’d grown to love and appreciate over the past 6 weeks in Wellington. I’ll never know if we ever would’ve come together on campus, but this trip gave us the opportunity to build friendships that could last a lifetime. I love knowing that when I go back to campus I will have a whole host of people that I want to spend time with from this trip.

~S